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BONUS EPISODE:
"FINE DINING"

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Alright guys, ready to chow down?
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Yeah, dinnertime!
Bring it on.
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Power-ups, just like old times.
I miss eating at Itty Bitty's Diner.
Me too. Let's dig in.
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Yeah, that's the stuff.
Um...
Deeeee-licious!
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Well, that was fun.
Never has much of an effect on me, though.
That's cuz you're an NPC, duh.
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Why do we eat, anyway?
It's loosely based on human activity, I'm told.
You guys don't know the half of it.
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I learned all about human eating habits during my job as a chatroom avatar. It's pretty messed up, man.
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How so?
Yeah, what could be so weird about it?
First off, it's not optional. Humans have to eat, or die.
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Really? That sucks.
So it's not just entertainment to them?
It partly is, cuz it takes them longer.
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Humans don't just touch and instantly absorb food like we do. They use a messy process called "chewing" that can take minutes, perhaps even up to an hour to accomplish.
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What the heck is chewing?
Well, they cut their food into small pieces and shove 'em into their mouths.
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GROSS!
You're making this up!
I swear, I'm not. And the nastiest part is...
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...You'll never believe where it all comes out.
It comes OUT???
I'm not listening to this.
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Worst of all, even though humans have to do it to stay alive, eating can kill them. They can choke, or get food poisoning...
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Or just eat too much, and end up looking like Paul Prudhomme.
Holy bit!
I guess it DOESN'T all come out.
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So the lesson for today is to be thankful that we sprites are made only vaguely in humans' image, and don't have to partake in the disgusting and unsanitary real-world versions of things like breathing, eating, drinking, or sex.
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Ooh, I might wanna hear about that last topic.
No you don't. Their nonpixelated bodies have things like zits. And hair.
Later guys. I'm gonna go pound my head against the wall until I've forgotten all this.
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Kid Radd ©2003 by Dan Miller
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